In relationships, being weak is the act of displaying somebody precisely who you’re and the way you are feeling with out disguise, bravado, or ego defenses, exposing your self to the potential for harm or rejection.
“Being weak means we make a acutely aware choice to not cover ourselves,” explains licensed {couples} therapist Alicia Muñoz, LPC. “That is dangerous as a result of we will not management how others will reply to us. It means others see who we actually are, and if they don’t seem to be capable of take us in, or admire our complexity, they usually choose or reject us, it hurts deeply.”
To assist perceive what vulnerability seems like in observe, Muñoz presents the instance of how infants deal with feelings:
“Being weak with somebody means risking being your true self. For infants, that is straightforward. They’re effortlessly themselves. They really feel unhappy they usually cry. They really feel blissful they usually smile. They expertise ache they usually flinch, gasp, or whimper. They’re afraid they usually search soothing and luxury. Infants have not but discovered to cover themselves or what they really feel. As our brains get extra refined, and we expertise losses and disappointments, and develop a way of ourselves as separate from others, we be taught to current ourselves to the world the way in which we wish to be perceived. We be taught to cover ourselves. Once we really feel unhappy, we snort. Once we really feel scared, we act detached. Once we really feel jealous, we inform individuals we’re blissful for them.”
As Muñoz factors out, individuals start to battle with vulnerability as a result of they worry getting harm—usually within the type of different individuals’s rejection, judgment, or betrayal. We might start to placed on a courageous face, act detached, suppress feelings, or step into a job meant to guard ourselves from these dangers.
“The irony is, after we do that, we find yourself robbing ourselves of the intimacy, connection, group, and love of the individuals who have the bandwidth and capability to take us in as we’re,” she says.